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Effective leaders know that managing change is a complex process and understand that change is about deep learning, not just doing things differently.

Reality continually shifts, and people rely on leaders to help navigate the changing waters. The problem is many leaders, who set priorities for others, frequently initiate changes that are neither effective nor realistic. And, despite the persistence and pervasiveness of change, we don't respond to it.

New realities are always arriving as life changes. We experience them daily in many forms: I broke my tooth, my portfolio is worth half of what it used to be, I lost my job. Plus the media, the Internet, and the cyber "twitter" constantly confront us with new realities.

Consider some of the reasons that contribute to our poor and reluctant performance in this critical realm of our lives.

Acknowledging Reality

Because we are confronted by so much on a daily basis, we screen out much that we deem irrelevant, is not of interest or that we do not understand. We also filter out that which is unpalatable, unpleasant or inconvenient, hoping it will go away or become someone else's problem.

Often new realities emerge in covert ways, so only those paying close attention detect the early signs. One example is the perilous state of our environment. People paying attention, such as Rachel Carlson, saw environmental degradation emerging 50 years ago.

Since reality, by definition, never goes away, a decision to ignore reality leads people to face deferred realities and play catch up. And much of our lives is spent playing catch-up with old realities we chose to defer.

The current economic crisis-no new realities here- is an example of why deferring reality produces serious consequences. A number of deferred financial realities, including the precarious sub-prime real estate market and other questionable banking practices, hit us all at once.

Filtering Reality

Another issue with change is that many in positions of authority decide for the rest of us which realities we should respond to. In other words, leaders define our reality. Unfortunately, many people welcome this as they want someone else to solve the difficult or unpalatable problems that change brings.

But there is a tendency for authorities and so-called leaders to cut and paste a picture of reality that suits their agenda, a reality that makes them look competent and powerful. And change that is not aligned with reality is eventually destined for disaster. It is thus no surprise that so many efforts to change fail.

Identifying or framing reality is a messy business. It requires many people with differing mindsets to work together to frame a reality. Sadly, power-hungry leaders rarely test their versions of reality with anyone other than like-minded supporters or friends.

Aligning people in any organization to a new reality takes time and effort, and may meet resistance from those who prefer to be told what to do.

Accepting Change

Acknowledging and facing new realities challenges and changes us personally. New realities require us to rethink or recalibrate our self-image, including reprioritizing our values, and looking at our feelings of self-esteem and competence. Effective leaders understand that any intiative must first deal with people's sense of self and how a given change will affect them.

Big challenges rattle our cage. Because change creates personal discomfort, we shy away from it. We deny or defer new realities, or we rely on someone else to deal with change for us as we remain in our comfort zones.

But failure to adapt may result in mediocrity. Worse, the change may fail entirely as the feelings of vitality and creativity of the people involved are transformed into anxiety and feelings of incompetence.

Learning from Change

True change is dependent on people being different, not just knowing different things. And getting people to be different is not easy.People only change their minds when they truly understand that the only way to survive and thrive is to align their thinking with the new reality, because reality never goes away. It just keeps changing.

If we are going to successfully change and create a new future, we need to realize that a sustainable economic model depends on each one of us. There can be no bystanders. We need to grasp that economic welfare depends on a sustainable model focused on community welfare, not on excess, the pursuit of wealth or individual performance.

Annabel Beerel, Ph.D., is the founder of Ethical Leadership Consulting in Sudbury, Mass., and author of "Leadership and Change Management" published by Sage Publications in 2009. She formerly taught at Southern NH University in Manchester. For more information, visit www.annabelbeerel.com.